In my most recent post, I identified myself as having a Theanic religious identity. Therefore it might be expected that articles defining the nature of a path of Theanic religion would become the constant theme of this blog. On the contrary I do not want to do go in that direction.
There are several reasons for this. First, during recent months I have been in the process of re-examining several aspects of my spirituality / religious life. An important area of change has been in my ideas regarding Deanic / Filianic angelology. This change has taken place in the context of a reoccurring of my ongoing interest in many of the major goddesses of ancient civilizations, goddesses such a Athena, Artemis, Inanna, Isis, etc. The fact is that I am becoming increasingly interested (not the first time in my life) in these goddesses with their rich traditions of mythology and communal societal worship of thousands of years and less interested in the rather abstract Janya / Angels of the Orthodox Filianic theology. While I do not deny the many truths revealed by Filianic angelology, the fact is that in spite of the problematic aspects of many of the traditions surrounding goddesses like Athena I find myself to be much more drawn toward her worship as a personal presence and mode of being of Thea than to the more abstract and no doubt Aristasian formulated Sai Vikhe. Thus I am more interested in discussing some of the most significant goddess traditions which I think are pregnant with theological potential than in dealing with the theology of the Janya at this time.
Another reason for going into another direction is that I have been in a process of reexamining certain aspects of my personal religious practice. The regrettable fact is that quite often, too often, I have simply been unable or unwilling to follow my own religious self disciplines. For a while now I have often I found myself not following through on my self imposed spiritual practices such as the memorization of psalms, the setting aside prayer times, etc.
i have been getting sloppy. The result of this is often periods of devotional dryness and a generally depressed irreligious attitude akin to a pragmatic atheism. These periods of time have been reoccurring through out my life and when they do occur I tend to respond in at least two ways. One way is to simply double down and do what I must by acts of will. Just do it.
The other way is to start re-examining my life and religious practices to see what changes might be needed to get me back on track or even on a better track. The question at this time is what do I need to be doing differently to better serve and love Thea. I am working both on the doubling down and on the re-examination now. This being the case it would necessarily be a bit pretentious for me to attempt to postulate the vision of a religious theology which I myself often can not live up to. The situation demands a humbler approach. I do think that I have thoughts to share that are worth while; but to attempt to postulate a developed theology is beyond what I should attempt to do now.
The another issue I have been dealing with is the fact that while I have seen myself to be a part of what I used to call the Independent De’anic community, that community no longer exists even in only a formal sense. As far as I am aware my own unique direction in religion is not shared by others. I have never had any aspirations to be a rugged individualist either in religion or any other aspect of life. I have always felt to a great degree that religion properly should be a communal affair and that most of its most important manifestations are in communal expression. I have never been a fan of spiritual individualism, of the idea that we should each be the creator of our own spiritual path. Yet reluctantly that is how I have of necessary lived my life. I wish that a community did exist which had a focus similar to mine. But the reality is different.
Therefore for people such as myself the temptation always exists that if one can create an organization of one, create a set of principles, a spiritual ideology, then one can hope that “If I build it they will come.” However that in fact seldom happens. The reality I am just me with my own thoughts, ideas, and experiences. The reality is that all that I can do is to simply express my own beliefs and my own understandings as these develop over time. Then perhaps these will make a difference or maybe not.
All of these factors lead me to the conclusion that I need to simply think one step at a time and hope for the guidance of Thea. I need to write as my best thoughts move me, as understandings develop. Now is not a time for systematic construction of a spiritual system. My thoughts and ideas keep shifting too much for that.